“Do you know any Spanish?” Mrs. Alba asked me as she went around the room trying to familiarize herself with my 6th grade classes’ knowledge of the Spanish language. Of course my response would be “Si, poquito” (meaning “yes, a little bit”) as I tried not to embarrass myself seeing as I was one out of a few of my classmates with hispanic backgrounds. Little did I know this response would set the tone towards the expectations Mrs. Alba would soon have towards me and any other students with Spanish related responses. 

Mrs. Alba was a fairly elderly woman with great knowledge of Spanish, easily portraying the idea that Spanish was her first language. She was very strict and had no tolerance whatsoever for any child in favor of wasting her time. Although this was only 6th grade and most of our first times in an actual second language class, she held nothing but high standards over all of our heads. She wanted nothing but constant progression throughout the entirety of the year, and if that wasn’t happening, she would make sure we found it.

Although I grew up with two bilingual parents, this classroom was my first real stepping stone towards a second language, and I wasn’t too comfortable with that at all. I often found myself staring at the clock above my classroom door, endlessly following the second hand awaiting the ring of the bell. Anxiety and uncertainty of my ability to fluently speak Spanish was a constant setback throughout my learning progress. “How in the world is she doing that” I would think to myself the very first time Mrs. Alba rolled her R’s while speaking to our class. I tried to mimic the sound and speak just the same as her, but to no avail. I simply couldn’t find a way to speak the way that I wanted, and that discouragement carried on with me for a very long time. 

Mrs. Alba’s expectations of my ability to speak a second language slowly diminished throughout the year, and I could see it happening before my own eyes. Not a lick of English would come out of Mrs. Alba’s mouth while speaking with the majority of her students. Limiting the amount of English that could be used in the classroom was a good way to try and instill the language upon us. However, as the year went on I would begin to see more and more English being used towards set numbers of students, myself being included of course. She had previously taught both of my brothers in the past, and seeing how they excelled, she presumably expected the same results from me. She would often try to speak to me in spanish, but my response always consisted of confusing looks and uncertainty in my reponses. Utter confusion would very apparently fill my face and you could spot from a mile away that I had no clue what was being said to me. Scrambling my brain and searching every crevice of my memory to find the right words to respond. Thinking in english and trying to translate it into spanish wasn’t working, maybe I needed to start thinking in spanish instead. I couldn’t do that though, Spanish would be in my head but instantly turn to English, and the English itself was unable to be translated into Spanish, I felt like nothing worked for me. 

Spanish itself as a language comes along as an expectation towards any person that has spanish heritage/background, but not if you’re Puerto Rican. Literally anyone could come up to me and speak a whole sentence of Spanish, and upon realizing that I have no clue what in the world they just said to me, their very first question would always be “Oh, do you speak Spanish?” because most people see me as someone who would be knowledgeable in the language. “A little bit but not too much” is usually my reply, which they will then respond with “Where are you from?” Once I say Puerto Rico it kind of just hits them like “Oh okay, that makes sense.” The stereotype that revolves around Puerto Ricans not being able to speak their own language is very apparent and genuinely fits many Puerto Ricans. This of course including myself, I can one hundred percent admit to the fact that I fit the stereotype. I am the stereotype. 

This expectation for people of hispanic culture should not be so readily put onto us. The fact that you may or may not have Spanish heritage does not coincide with one’s ability to speak multiple languages. Everyone has a different learning curve and ability to store and hold information such as different languages all together within their mind. People of specific heritages and backgrounds not knowing that specific places’ language should genuinely be normalized within our society. One could be Spanish for example, and grow up within the United States without fully learning Spanish. This goes for literally any other place around the world as well. In my case, I am literally the embodiment of a Hispanic American not knowing Spanish, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I am the stereotype of the average Puerto Rican not knowing Spanish, and that’s me. There’s nothing wrong with being me.